Cameo: Wonderful affunctionalism
I’ve made no secret about my vintage Doctor Who fandom on this blog. Recent comments by comedian John Cleese reminded me when he made an art-related appearance on the legendary television series in 1979.
For his brief dialogue, story editor Douglas Adams served up a piece of art babble worthy of Vogon poetry status. Cleese and actress Eleanor Bron give the Doctor’s time machine, the Tardis, a critique that could straight out of Saatchi gallery press release. (See the John Cleese clip from “The City of Death” at this link. )
Cleese: “For me, one of the most curious things about this piece is its wonderful… afunctionalism.”
Bron: “Yes. I see what you mean. Divorced from its function and seen purely as a piece of art, its structure of line and color is curiously counterpointed by the redundant vestiges of its function.”
Cleese: “And since it has no call to be here, the art lies in the fact that it *is* here.”
[Doctor, Romana and Duggan dash in and enter the TARDIS; it dematerializes]
Bron: “Exquisite. Absolutely exquisite.”
Pompous elitist art patrons like the ones caricatured here are real enough. They are the type of people that have given non-talents like Tracy Emin a simulacra of relevance and a facade of a career.
The establishment rejects the self-evident principle expressed in the Stuckism manifiesto: “Art that has to be in a gallery to be art isn’t art.”
The elitist’s response is, “We declare it is art because we say so. We camouflage our unscrupulous power trip with lots of pretentious, pseudo-intellectual banter. We don’t care about art, we care that we are the only ones whose opinions matter.”
The art world is full of hopeful supplicants who will wage war on behalf of the most absurd cultural institution dogma, hopeful their conformity will be rewarded with crumbs of acknowledgement. Their whole identity is invested in acting as defender of the woefully inept establishment artistic status quo.
Sadly most of these acolytes would not acknowledge real art if it appeared – or vanished – right before their own eyes.